7 months into hosting CreativeMornings/Portland
If you’re anything like me, sometimes it’s scarier to look back at what you’ve managed so far than it is to just keep your eyes down, focused on the rocks that still need climbing.
Today was one of those moments when you all of the sudden take a breath, look up, and appreciate how different where you are now is from where you started.
Last summer I kept hoping someone would restart the Portland chapter of CreativeMornings. I asked people I consider creative and well-connected and ambitious if they or anyone they knew were interested. Without first considering that I too am ambitious and creative.
I thought about the very first CreativeMornings/DC I ever attended. And the one before that which I rsvped for and then backed out of because I was too nervous to go mingle with this big group of people who were all (I assumed) more creative and interesting and easier to talk to than me. I thought about the year since I’d moved to Portland, knowing zero people, and all of the delightful people I’d met since, mostly at events like this.
And somehow, I let go of some of my fear and self doubt. I decided that even if I wasn’t sure how to do any of this, I could at least give it a good try. And hopefully, in the process, give back to a community which has been a constant source of new people, ideas, and inspiration in my life.
Since restarting CreativeMornings/Portland in January I’ve been taking this big new thing one step at a time. I don’t want to let down anyone who loves it. I worry about disappointing the wonderful humans who volunteer their time and energy and ideas to help me put this event on each month. Or the speakers who trust me with creating this space for their voice. Or the local partners who support this community.
Even when one event goes well, I find it hard to exhale, to pause and appreciate what we’ve done.
I just look ahead to what we need to do next.
It feels right after T Ngu’s CreativeMornings talk on “end” to allow myself to let go of perfectionism. There’s a lot more we’ll do, but there’s also so much we’ve already done. And I’m grateful for all of these people who said, “Yes, I’ll do this with you.”
Thank you. 💜